i hardly ever write a journal here. only cause i never really saw deviantart as a 'journal-writing' site...unlike livejournal, or blogspot, or even multiply. but i thought i'd give it a go. not like anyone reads it anyway.

i'm back here in new zealand. back to the cold-ish weather. back to school. back to work. back to reality. back to life.

i had spent only a couple of weeks in the philippines for my grandfather's funeral. my days were mostly spent driving around manila from one's relative's house to another. being a chauffeur to my sister and mum who dread driving in the philippines despite having full licences to drive. i don't blame them. manila traffic is just...gawd. i can't even explain it.

but i readied myself for the fact that i was only there for a couple of weeks and that i had to eventually come back here to finish off uni. i had accepted the fact that i'd be loving them, and them leaving them all the same. out of the all the people that i got to spend time with and who i truly miss, it'd have to be my little baby niece. although she can barely utter a word and only gibberish words come out of her mouth, she gives off so much love that sometimes i just want to hug and hug her and never let her go. i love her so much. she is my little princess...my little angel.

i didn't get to see a lot of people i had wanted to see while i was there. there were people i had an intense past with who remain special in my life...yet i never got to see them. i wanted to. the times that we spent between the end of 2003 and start of 2005 was something spectacular and i always told myself that if ever i had the chance to spend a full day with this person, even if we didn't have that 'thing' anymore, then i'd go for it. but as the weeks and days gone by, i had just accepted the fact that if sometimes, you can't control time and you can't control their schedule either. sometimes roads don't cross...and the whole time you both are running on parallel highways leading to 'change' very deep, i know. but such is life.

i'd talk more about the funeral and the wake...but i've already mentioned beore in my other blog that i'm kind of not ready to...as i'm not prepared to cry about it again. but until then...